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The Living…after the death of a loved one

Posted on by The TríB Online in Death, Family, Happiness, Life, Manifesting, Pandemic, Sadness, The Live TríB

Death….I’ve always heard there is one absolute that we all must face one day and that absolute is Death. And for most of us, we will be affected by it’s unbearable grip at some point in our lives. Having lost both parents before I made the age of 30, death has definitely had it’s awful grips of almost unbearable grief on me…more than I would have liked. But, it’s a reality. A dark reality that the “Living” must face after the death of a loved one. With a global pandemic hovering over us, death has affected so many people from all walks of life. Here are a few things that people don’t tell you about death. And it’s not because they don’t want to tell you. The truth is, it’s heartbreaking to tell you.

No one wants their fellow man to experience the crushing feeling that death brings upon you. But for those of us who have had death grip our airways and buckle our knees with grief, we know that someday, most will understand that feeling, and it’s not something that we want to talk about. 

For starters, the emotions that come from the death of a loved one will catch you off guard. No matter how much you think you have prepared yourself, no matter the pep talks or the macho man or superwoman speeches you have rehearsed. IT WILL CATCH YOU OFF GUARD.

Secondly, the roller coaster of emotions known as grief never go away. The intensity of the grief subsides with time, but you will spend the rest of your life in some level of grief. Now, this isn’t to say that you will be sad and moping the rest of your life. The truth is, you will learn to live life with a void, with an absence….and grief will sneak up on you after a seemingly happy stint in life….just out of nowhere…and guess what? This is normal…

Third, it is not your fault. This one goes hand in hand with grief. One of the stages of grief is the guilt stage. No matter what you could have done differently, the outcome was meant for that day and the circumstances cannot be changed. Death is a reality and it’s not your fault – that is unless you have intentionally killed someone with ill intent. 

Number four – it’s ok to hurt for others who are experiencing the death of a loved one. It’s ok to be there for them. If anything, you can probably help them get thru their tough time…if you’re strong enough and in a place to do so. Only you know your journey to healing and how much you can expend emotionally. 

Number five – it is ok to cry. Let me repeat for ALL, EVERYONE, EACH LIVING HUMAN – it is OK to cry….some people may tell you that you need to be strong, yada, yada….screw that. Release your emotions….cry….and cry some more. It’s ok. No one gets an award for “holding in tears from heartaches”. You don’t get a winning lottery ticket…none of that. So, cry…let it out. It’s ok. Death is absolute yet unpredictable and that’s the “big scary” of it all.

And finally, number six, it is ok to smile and be happy after the death of a loved one. I’m sure if we could ask those that have passed away if they would want us all on the ground drowning in sorrow or smiling and living a seemingly happy life, most would probably choose the latter for their loved ones. It’s ok to “live” after experiencing a heart breaking death. Breathe…..live…..and remember those who have passed on before us – honor them and cherish the loved ones who are here…because unfortunately, death is lurking. 

Return to Work? I am at work.

Posted on by The TríB Online in Business, Entrepreneurship, Family, Life, Manifesting, Tech, The Live TríB

So as the world turns and as outside opens up for all to get their desired dose of “crowds”, there is this lingering order that is swirling around for several people…it’s the: “Return to work” or “Better Together” cheesy slogan that execs are attempting to use to bring their workforce back into the office. Well, for starters, you may want to start by acknowledging that the employees never left work, they have continued to keep the company afloat during a pandemic, so the “Return to Work” slogan may need to be retired. It comes off as a tad bit unappreciative to those workers who transitioned a portion of their homes into an “unfinanced” hub of your company. Kudos to those employees. Now the whole “Better Together”…*insert long drawn out sigh*….what year is this again? The Jetsons were well ahead of their time and even they got it! Me personally, I have seen much more of my coworkers while being at home than I ever did while in the office. Define “together”? If companies were having gatherings and everyone was sitting sitting around singing the latest kid bop jam and eating chips and salsa, then I obviously missed this and so did a heap of others. By together, possibly you mean that you need to see your workforce because seeing them gives you this “warm and fuzzy” of them being productive and working….*side eyeing my work BFF as we wonder how is this thought even possible telepathically*, or maybe together means if you can dictate their daily hours down to the second, then they have been good, stellar employees? No? Then define together for us please…we’re listening. Because honestly, I have seen so much productivity from people this past year than I have ever seen in all of my working years. People were comfortable and focused. They didn’t feel the pressures of the morning traffic, the pressures of leaving their house at 5:30 each morning to be at work at 8 a.m. and make it home at 7 or 8. Kid’s homework and dinner be damned. 

For those execs who are pushing to return to “normal”….newsflash, the old normal is actually “abnormal”. Times changed right before our eyes. For those who insist upon a full workforce, in house , 5 days a week, I can only imagine the quality of your recruiting for years to come. Companies are offering remote or hybrid or a combination of sort as a perk/benefit because they figured out for over a year, they didn’t miss a beat and actually gained more profit and more productive employees. For those who insist on seeing everyone and returning to the “archaic normal”…it’s ok to let go of the need to see people and equate it to success…please read that one more time. The pandemic forced you to do so (let go) and it probably wasn’t that bad. Growth…innovation, sustainability…..are all things that should be assessed when wanting to “return to work” or “return to normal” or whatever catchy phrase one is wanting to use. At the end of the day, do NOT be the company that loses headcount because you refuse to enter the year 2021. The time for meeting about meetings and meeting to hear each other breathe is over. You have to show up online with content or it’s the weird silence. Ahhhhhhhh….work….. Return? We’re here, where exactly are you? 

Childhood Dreams….

Posted on by The TríB Online in Entrepreneurship, Life, Manifesting

Childhood Dreams….

Talking…talking has been my thing FOR….EV…ER….I used to only get in trouble at school for TALKING. Needless to say, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said: I want to be like Oprah Winfrey. I want to be a talkshow host. 🥴 Well, I didn’t even start on that path in college, I went in another direction that I do not regret, but I’m still a talker and I’ve always wanted to have my own show. Well, the time has come…..thru the upcoming popular platform known as: Clubhouse. I now have a club specifically for my hosted talk shows 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

Now, while I won’t be making Oprah Winfrey money or donning the 1980s Farrah Fawcett hair dos or clothes, I will be talking. I will be talking about any and everything and most definitely world events. There will be plenty of laughter (because I love to laugh) and there will be a range of other emotions. The one thing I can promise is a place for unique entertainment and a place where everyone’s voice is respected…regardless of differing beliefs. This has been a long time coming and is one of the many things that I have my hand in….The time is now….I still have more up my sleeve, but for now it’s time to get this “talking” on the track.

If you are on Clubhouse, follow me: @theonlytri

And come join the club: The Live TríB

First show will be April 28, 2021 (8-9 pm CST).

Topic: Trauma Bond between parents….but what about the kids?

💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫

Humpday is gone…now what?

Posted on by The TríB Online in Entrepreneurship, Life, Tech

Kudos to us! We’ve passed midweek and we’re gearing up for the weekend! Yay us….semi jail sentenced US. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% for social distancing, masks, and what not, but even me, the Aquarius who enjoys standing alone, is having Covid fatigue…Temper tantrums don’t work, by the way. I will neither confirm or deny that I’ve had one a time or two, just know, they do not work. We have to learn to live in our “new norm”. Gone are the days of blowing out the birthday candles on cakes…because yeah…who’s eating that in 2021? Gone are the days of mask being used for the absolute worst and in hospitals. So, before anyone else sulks – I’ve taken all the tickets for that, wait your turn – just know that we are in a prime time right now. (Stop cursing and swearing and hear me out).

Our OLD norm is long gone – far away – resting place created in 2019….we’re still grieving of course, BUT, since the old norm is gone, a NEW norm has to be created. *Grabs Bullhorn* – Inventors, on your mark, get set, GO! You may be thinking, “I haven’t created anything or I do not have a talent.” YES. YOU. DO! The thing is, you probably haven’t sat still long enough to truly think about your gift. Trust me, you have time. With these curfews, limitations, closings, and masks, OH MY – you have time…create the time, jot down what you are good at doing…if it’s something as simple as talking, yes talking, look into creating a podcast. My friend Dee, the woman behind the podcast: No Suga On Dee Rim, did just that (check out the podcast in TríB’s Favorites on the website: https://www.thetrib.online – this blog is on the website for those of you who don’t know). If you like to sew…uh, masks…not going anywhere anytime soon…get at it! If you want a website to jazz up your craft – build one! Or if you’re lost, I, Tanya Rochelle, can help you there!

There is so much opportunity right now til it’s almost insane. The playing field has leveled some for everyone. Tell the coach to let you in….the coach is your mind…think, manifest, and create. Humpday is gone, the weekend approaches, we’re in a pandemic….now what?